Thursday, January 19, 2012

The M&M diet

As someone who has always failed at dieting, I've learned one thing. All diets work great for the first 10 days. Then, something happens. It's too complicated, or I crave a certain forbidden food, I'm at a party and there's nothing I'm allowed to eat. Too much math - points systems or calorie counting. 

I figure why not just eat something really tasty for a couple of weeks exclusively and then I'll be so sick of it I'll be able to use restraint in the future.

Hence, I propose the M&M diet.  Here's how it works.  I eat nothing but M&Ms for 10 days.  I will have plenty of energy from the caffeine in the chocolate, (think rabid squirrel energy.  I'll get so much done!)  And enough calories to keep my organs going. 

By the end of the 10 days, I will likely have the runs so bad from having no fiber and will have lost some weight.  How much weight?  Depends on how many M&Ms I eat each day, I guess.   If every day I ate the Costco size bag that comes with it's own ziploc, I probably won't lose any weight actually.  Plus, I'd have to spend some serious money to redecorate my bathroom if I was going to spend that much time in it.  And get one of those cushioned toilet seats (they still make those, right?).

Hmm.  I guess the whole "eat healthy and get off the damn couch" will have to do for now.